It’s been one of those not-so-good relationship days. Man, do I hate these. Everything in me just wants to make it stop because it is so uncomfortable to feel upset and insecure and unable to control the situation. I don’t like conflict, but I also have come far enough that I won’t just abandon what is true for me in order to smooth things over.
This is what boundaries are for. I am letting someone else’s emotions impact mine. I have let a brief interaction that will soon be forgotten destroy the inner peace that I work so hard to cultivate.
It is not because I live under the illusion that things will always be hearts, rainbows, and sunshine and nothing will ever hurt. But I am committed to these things not taking over more of my life than they should. None of this is so important that it should highjack my day.
So I will put it in it’s own little bubble for now. Literally — I am visualizing a beautiful iridescent bubble that will hold the hurt and the confusion and my impatience to have it resolved until there is the right moment to talk it out so that the emotions don’t just sit on my heart and run circles in my brain. Or, even better, maybe I’ll just let the bubble go and move on. If it’s that important, there will be something to say later on.
The trick is to remember to do this. That’s the practice. To stop yourself from running down the same old track of how you react to these situations when they arise (and they always will). You get better and faster at having the response that leaves you in control of the only thing you truly can control — yourself.